How to stop yelling at kids

The “Do-Over” Strategy

I was once in a movie. Not saying which one since it didn’t star a Hollywood A-list cast and was pretty cheesy. My 5 seconds of fame, you could say.

Anyway, back to the movie. I learned how many times the same scene is filmed over, and over…and over.

From this angle. From that.

With a different perspective.

With different clothing and props.

Different emotion or words.

I now get how tedious acting in films can be. The director will keep going until he/she gets just the right takes. Only the best, Oscar-worthy acting will do. They edit them later so the viewer can see the same scene from many points of view.

If we can do that in film-making, why can’t we do it in life? Don’t we want our worst moments edited out, to end up on the cutting room floor? Maybe they’ll make the “bloopers” extra scenes to laugh about later. But for now, when we act out really terribly with our spouses or kids, can’t we give each other a “do over”?

Time out.

Take Two.

The same analogy could be said for a “rewind” button. We use it all the time on our remote control.

Here’s an idea: the next time you say or do something you regret, immediately pull out your cellphone, pretend it’s a remote control, and push an imaginary “rewind” button. Tell the other person, you are truly sorry, and want to rewind that scene. Ask permission to have a “re-do” or “do over.” They’ll probably be so stunned or amused, they won’t say no.

Then set up the scene for them with a NEW ending. Say or do the thing you should have the first time.

It’s one of the most amazing, refreshing relationship skills I know of.

Here’s some reminders of how to do this. Talk this strategy over today with those you love (and have hurt) and commit to using it from now on.

Credit given to ourmamavillage for these memes