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What to do with a crying baby

KSL.com, as well as many other syndicated online news outlets, picked up the article I wrote (below) on my website. It even got translated into Spanish. Que bueno! At the end of the article, KSL inserted a voting poll for which method worked wonders for your crying baby:

Infant massage
Swaddling
Rock/Walk/Dance
Stroller or Car ride
A special “Hold”
White noise

The article got a lot of comments and viewers (over 6,500 to date!) so I’m pleased people are talking about this important issue. Parenting a newborn can be stressful! Here’s the link if you want to see it published: http://www.ksl.com/?sid=38648774&nid=1009&title=what-to-do-with-a-crying-baby

I’d like to call attention to a little-known form of child abuse. Unlike other types of abuse, this one is usually not done intentionally or out of malicious intent. In fact, the abusing adult may be a caring, normal person like you or me. But in one moment, that can all change.

It happens when a baby cries uncontrollably and the caregiver becomes impatient and starts shaking the baby out of frustration.

What is SHAKEN BABY SYNDROME?

Shaken Baby Syndrome occurs when adults, frustrated and angry with an infant, shakes them violently. It is also known as “Abusive Head Trauma” and is the most common type of infant abuse. A caregiver momentarily succumbs to the frustration of responding to a crying baby by shaking.

It is important that parents and caregivers know the dangers of shaking. Let’s make others aware of this danger just like SIDS. They also need to tell everyone who cares for the baby, that it is NEVER okay to shake the baby.

Why Is Shaking a Baby A Danger?

A baby’s neck is too weak to support their heavy head.Consequently, when shaken, their head flops back and forth, causing serious brain injury.

shaken

A baby’s brain and the blood vessels connecting the skull to the brain are fragile and immature.Therefore, when a baby is shaken, the brain ricochets about their skull, causing the blood vessels to tear away and blood to pool inside their skull causing irreparable damage to the brain or retinal detachment.

If found to be guilty, a the adult can be prosecuted for child abuse in the first degree and imprisoned.

So what do we do with a crying baby?

I’ve  taken care of my fair share of inconsolable infants. You have to wonder at a newborn with such tiny lungs who can produce so much sound! I raised five children and some were just fussier than others. Some, in particular, chose the evening and early morning hours to be the most colicky. Exactly the time when I was most exhausted, stressed, and frustrated. Those early morning hours can be the perfect storm for a parent to lose their patience. I’d like to offer a list of things to do when you can’t get the baby to calm down.

Take the baby for a walk outside in a stroller or for a ride in the car seat. When the baby is in another device and your hands are wrapped around the handle or a steering wheel, you are physically removed from holding/hurting the baby. It gives you distance, emotionally and physically. These two activities also have a calming effect because the purr of the engine or gentle rocking of the stroller.

Hold the baby against your chest and gently massage the baby. Massaging a baby has this calming effect on you because you are stroking yourself as well.

Rock, walk, or dance with the baby. Soft music can calm you and the infant.

Be patient; take a deep breath and count to ten. Or a hundred.

Call a friend or relative that you can trust to take over for a while, then get away, get some rest, take care of yourself.

Wrap up the baby tightly or give a warm bath.  Even if the baby doesn’t like to be bathed, I can almost guarantee that a properly swaddled infant will calm down.

Lower any surrounding noise and lights.

Hold the baby and breathe slowly and calmly; the baby may feel your calmness and become quiet. If you are agitated, most likely the baby will be too.

Sing or talk to the baby using soothing tones.

Record a sound, like a vacuum cleaner, or hair dryer and play it. White noise. There are even CDs and other audio players that play these sounds…even the “womb” noises.

See a doctor to check out physiological problems (i.e. acid reflux, lactose intolerance)

soothing-crying-baby_109501549).

That was my list. Now here is the 5 S’s that Dr. Harvey uses to effectively pacify a crying baby. He found a 98% success rate using these. They imitate babies’ experience inside the uterus.

1.Sucking (pacifier)

2.Swaddling (arms down, tightly fitted with a large receiving blanket)

3.Side/Stomach position (hold them, not put them down in this position)

4.Shushing (a loud, but controlled shushing sound in their ear)

5.Swinging (small quiver-like movements)

So next time your baby exercises her lungs tirelessly, try out these 5 steps and let me know how they work. Blessings to you all for doing your best during these sleep-deprived years.

Goodnight.

 

 

Gut flora, kid health, and boogers

This turned out to be a really lively (and a little gross) interview on the Matt Townsend show. It aired on Jan 26th. http://www.byuradio.org/episode/6e14c90d-9421-4a88-9420-9cb8a1e095e8?playhead=6693&autoplay=true

Here are some new vocabulary words you’ll learn by listening:

Gut Flora

Microorganism

Microbiome

Microflora

Probiotics

Ecosystem

And this is a quiz that you’ll know the answers to once it’s over (P.S. Matt gets them all correct!)

How many feet of intestinal tubing do we have?

a. 10 feet

b. 18 feet

c. 25 feet

c. 30 feet

We have this many microorganisms in our gut.

a. 150 billion

b. 75 trillion

c. 100 trillion

What is the ratio of microorganism to human cells?

a. 10-1

b. 20-1

c. 50-1

What percentage of serotonin is found in the gut?

a. 25%

b. 45%

c. 70%

d. 80%

 

“Read it again, Mom!”

I’ve been a professional educator for over 25 years, teaching Kindergarten, preschool, and students in the Education department at UVU. I’ve taught these delightful students how to foster reading and writing with children birth through 6. Here is some of my cumulative knowledge and experience in a KSL online news article.

http://www.ksl.com/?sid=37200737&nid=1009&title=read-it-again-mom-enhancing-the-parent-child-reading-experience&s_cid=queue-1

Better Relationships in 2016

I was interviewed for a Wall Street Journal article called “Look Ahead: 4 steps to better relationships in the new year” in the Tuesday, December 29, 2015 edition.

Here’s a link to the online version:

http://www.wsj.com/articles/look-ahead-four-steps-to-better-relationships-in-the-new-year-1451324689

How To Talk To Your Child About Terrorism

Has anyone had to discuss the recent terrorist attacks with a child? Not easy! The world seems to be an increasingly unsafe place, whether it’s natural disasters, economic crisis, terrorism, relationship breakdown, or even the increase of bullying. No wonder children succumb to anxiety at times.

With new terrorism attacks in France, and frightening topics discussed in the news and around the dinner table, here is an article I wrote for Family Share with six tips for how to address your child’s fears.

http://familyshare.com/parenting/how-to-talk-to-your-child-about-terrorism

If you need a few more tips for addressing specific fears such as fears of the dark at bedtime, here is another article I wrote for ksl.com

https://www.ksl.com/?sid=28271581

Two Spoonfuls of Parenting Books

No matter your parenting needs, I’ve got you covered. Here are two books that approach parenting slightly differently. Look under the “Publications” menu or click on each book for more details and how to order.

d175c-cover
Inspirational and Insightful.
This book examines the lives of scriptural parents like Adam and Eve and what they can teach us by their examples. Truly, the scriptures are the Perfect Parenting Manual! 
Keep-it-Real-Grab-a-Plunger_9781462116324
Fun, friendly and informative.
  This book addresses a variety of topics from talking with your teen, creating memories around the table or bedtime, and how to stop yelling and start listening  (plunger not included). Book trailer here.

                                 

                       

               

                 

             

                                

Can Anyone Relate?

My mother used to read a picture book to my children called, “Five Minutes’ Peace”  by Jill Murphy. We laughed at the mother elephant who would escape to the bathtub to stop her baby elephants from pestering her. I guess elephants are a lot like people because I escape to the bathtub as often as needed. Can anyone relate to this children’s story and this photo?

bathroom break