My mother used to read a picture book to my children called, “Five Minutes’ Peace” by Jill Murphy. We laughed at the mother elephant who would escape to the bathtub to stop her baby elephants from pestering her. I guess elephants are a lot like people because I escape to the bathtub as often as needed. Can anyone relate to this children’s story and this photo?
Word Press congratulated me today on my 134th post on this website. Well, thank you very much and you’re welcome! In honor of this auspicious day, I’d like to post a quote by Annie Reneau about mothering.
Reflections and Perspective of a Mother
If I had known what sleep deprivation really felt like before I had kids…
If I had known the full measure of bodily fluids I’d have to clean up throughout my children’s childhoods…
If I had known how much the sound of “Mama? Mama? Mama?” could grate on my last nerve after hearing it for more than a decade…
If I had known that sometimes I’d take an extra long time on the toilet, just to have a few minutes to myself…
If I had known that those few stolen toilet moments would almost always be interrupted by tiny fists knocking on the door anyway…
If I had known how often I would have to repeat the same directions and corrections over and over and over and over…
If I had known that every “expert” remedy for whining, crying, moping, disobedience, disrespect, and laziness would be completely ineffectual half the time…
If I had known that loving your children doesn’t mean liking them all the time…
If I had known that I would sometimes cry in the shower because there was no other place to vent alone…
If I had known that I’d be so “touched out” by the end of some days that the thought of getting busy with my husband would repulse me…
If I had known that I would never be able to truly, fully concentrate on anything ever again…
If I had known that it doesn’t get easier as they get older, just hard in different ways…
If I had known I would feel terrified almost every day that I am failing at motherhood in some way…
If I had known how truly unrelenting parenting was going to be…
I would have had my children anyway.
Because if I hadn’t…
I wouldn’t know how miraculous it feels to have a human being grow from a tiny speck to an entire person inside your own body.
I wouldn’t know that the smell of a newborn’s head is the best evidence that there’s a heaven.
I wouldn’t know the magic of having a baby fall asleep in your arms and never wanting to put them down.
I wouldn’t know the unmatchable thrill of watching your child walk, use the potty, ride a bike, or read a whole book for the first time.
I wouldn’t know how the sound of your child’s laughter can lighten even the heaviest of days.
I wouldn’t know how an innocent, wide-eyed stare can melt you right through the floor.
I wouldn’t know how awesome it is to witness the daily, gradual unfolding of a person you helped bring into the world.
I wouldn’t know the pride of seeing your children navigate difficult situations using the tools and qualities you’ve helped instill in them.
I wouldn’t know how much pure, unbridled joy there could be in seeing your children triumph.
I wouldn’t know how much unexpected, humbling grace there could be in the constant struggle of trying to be a better parent.
I wouldn’t know how the act of parenting your own kids can help heal your own childhood hurts.
I wouldn’t know how losing myself in motherhood would result in finding a deeper, stronger, realer version of myself.
I wouldn’t know the warm, sweet fullness of being loved as only a mother can be loved.
I wouldn’t know the raw, fierce power of loving as only a mother can love.
And I wouldn’t know that the pain and pitfalls of the path are ultimately outweighed by beauty, joy, and wonder of the journey.
If I had known what motherhood really was like, I’d have done it all over again.
(I’d just have slept more when I had the chance.)
I contributed on the Matt Townsend show on BYU radio on Jan 21, 2015.
The topic was communication and I came on after the first guests to discuss how to communicate with a child in distress.
I had an article published with KSL.com news called “College Prep: It’s more than grades.” It went live on January 6, 2015. Here is the link:
Here is a link to stream the Matt Townsend BYU radio show where I spoke on Jan. 7, 2015. The topic was media perceptions and I was interviewed the last hour about role model influences in the media on children.
http://www.byuradio.org/episode/3d0b49f2-26c1-4936-962b-256a1402b218/the-matt-townsend-show-media-perception
The main talking points were:
Tips for parents of young kids
Limit screen time.
Find age-appropriate content.
Tips for parents of elementary-aged kids
Avoid stereotypes and antisocial role models.
Search out good programming together.
Avoid role model consumerism.
Tips for parents of older kids
Embrace what they like to hold influence with them.
Educate them with unrealistic ideals, including reality TV, soaps and unnatural body figures.
Today I read the original text of the famous newspaper editorial written in response to a child’s, Virginia, letter to the editor. It brought tears to my eyes. I had forgotten how beautifully written it was, and how profound was the truth therein. I share it here for all parents who are teaching the un-provable truth of Santa, sharing, and the joy of Christmas:
We take pleasure in answering at once thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of “The Sun”:
Dear Editor–
I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?
– Virginia O’Hanlon, 115 West Ninety-fifth street.
Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You may tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
http://classiclit.about.com/od/christmasliteratur1/a/aa_yessanta.htm
Here’s the latest episode I contributed to on the Matt Townsend show. It was about extracurricular and social aspects of a teen’s life boosting them into college and (my part that followed) emotional readiness.
If you are in an unhealthy relationship (manipulator, narcissist, co-dependent, etc.) this is a good radio program.
What do you do with a child who is acting out in anger? Here is the BYU radio program on how to parent an explosive child. I come on after the first guest who talks about difficult relationships in general, or in marriage, but I take the parenting angle, as always. I am a guest expert after the 1 hr. 15 min. mark.
Here is a link to the BYU radio program on Nov. 6th about difficult adult sibling relationships and strengthening good ones. I come on after the first guest, about 1 hr. 15 min. into the program.
http://www.byuradio.org/…/e…/the-matt-townsend-show-siblings
A Spoonful of Parenting 