Parenting

Insights and inspirations about parenting.

Fortune Telling, Early Literacy, and Mt. Everest

Mountain Climbing

Did any of you play “fortune telling” when you were a kid? You’d look at your friend’s palm and see the creases and lines that forecasted wealth, love, a long life, or maybe forebode heartache and misery. It was all fun and games and no one took it seriously.

I’d like you to image that you are a palm reader today.How accurate will you be by looking at lines on a palm? You can’t really tell a person how their life will turn out just by a few wrinkles, right? Are you certain of your predictions?  I have a formula that is fool proof (well, almost…but it sure beats a crystal ball). I will be a fortune teller today and tell you if your kids will likely have a long and happy life. It all depends on one thing. Reading.

In one of my favorite books called The Read Aloud Handbook (I read it while living in Chicago and it changed my life), Jim Trelease summarizes solid research that shows a high probability of a child’s later success in life is based on how often a parent read to them while they were growing up:

You read more, therefore…

You know more, therefore…

You’re smarter, therefore…

You stay in school, therefore…

You get more diplomas, therefore…

You have more stable employment, therefore…

You make more money, therefore…

Your kids will get good grades, therefore…

You’ll enjoy a longer and happier life! (Handbook, pp. xxiv, xxv).

It all starts with one book. For a child to have the foundational literacy skills to learn how to read in Kindergarten, their parents need to have read a minimum of 1000 books to their child before they enter school. One thousand books may seem like a lot, but if you break it down, it’s only about two books per day. But those one or two books add up and predict amazing results.

It reminds me of a keynote speaker I heard once at a conference. He had conquered the climb to Mt. Everest after experiencing harrowing, near-death experiences along the way. The final step on the summit was celebrated with a ceremonial flag-posting, pictures, and a brief breath-taking view. But he said something like this: “That last step on the top was not any more important than the first step at base camp. If I hadn’t taken that first step and all the other small but important steps along the way, I would never have taken that final step.” I think that has a lot of significance to many things in life, including the achievement of raising children.

I write this after reading the paper today. I’m so impressed that Utah County has initiated the “EveryDay Learners” reading program by encouraging local businesses to become active in early literacy activities. Today’s article highlighted Tom Hansen. He owns a 7-Eleven convenience store and took up the challenge by Bill Hulterstrom, president of United Way of Utah County, to help young children want to read. He installed two bookshelves in the front of his store, just the height for small children, and stocked them with children’s books. Hansen tells his young friends, “Take a book, read it, bring it back, report about the book to an employee and collect a treat from a variety of healthy snacks like a banana or apple, or have a Slurpee on the house”  (http://www.heraldextra.com/news/local/central/provo/eleven-makes-reading-fun-rewards-efforts/article_cfb9536a-a9d4-5116-9f0d-3a93f20fe534.html).

My hat is off to you, Tom Hansen. You are the newest fortune teller in Utah County. You are creating the next generation of 7-Eleven shoppers who will more likely stay in school, get a diploma, secure more stable employment, earn more money, raise successful children, and have a happy life. Who knows, they may end up owning their own 7-Eleven store filled with a library of books for other young children.

High five to you. Palms and all.

Bedtime Rituals

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Parenting offers us special times of the day to connect with our children. At these “crossroads” in daily life, we should do our best to be available, attentive, and responsive to our child’s needs. Some of the simple, yet powerful times can be mealtimes together (even preparing the food and cleaning up if you can do it together), doing chores side by side, being at the door to greet and say goodbye whenever possible, driving them to and from an activity, and bedtime rituals. Each of these offers critical and meaningful face time in which to influence and understand our children. Sadly, more than one research study reports we spend on average about 7 minutes per day talking with our children.

Annie Murphy Paul posted an article on Time magazine online where she said, “A study
published earlier this month by researchers at North Carolina State University,
Brigham Young University and the University of California-Irvine, for example,
finds that parental involvement — checking homework, attending school meetings
and events, discussing school activities at home — has a more powerful influence
on students’ academic performance than anything about the school the students
attend.” I hope everyone sits up and pays attention. We are the most influential person in our child’s life and those connections are usually made during non-eventful, ordinary times of day.

I’d like to focus on one daily connection: the bedtime ritual. This can include a bath, changing into pajamas, reading a book, brushing teeth, prayers, discussing the events of the day, a song, kiss, and the all-important “tucking in.” These and more ideas can be found in Parenting.com. It adds closure to the day, settles down a restless, perhaps anxious or tired child, and offers a special bond between parent and child. I have found that my children are less defensive at the end of the day and open up more during this time.

My friend Alison is raising a very energetic and willful young son. She shared this recently: HIGHLIGHT of my day: As I’m putting [her son] to bed reading… he turns to me and says, “Mom, I love you so much! I love you more than anyone loves their mom in this whole wide world. . . (thinking….). . . I love you more than an alien loves their mom because aliens love their moms like a thousand, thousand, thousand, 80…7… spaces and 79 times and spaces. That’s a lot. I love you more than that!!!” WOW. I’m the luckiest human mom alive! Love that kid!

What better reward at the end of the day can you think of?