This continues my reflection on the journal entries I made as an 11-year-old. I will type out excerpts about all the goals I had for myself as a parent and respond how I did to my younger self. (I’ve corrected punctuation and spelling)

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Did You Think To Pray?

Another thing I want to remember to do as a mom is to always teach your children to pray. Even if you say, “And be sure to say your prayers” to my kids. You’re not there to witness them saying their prayers so it is up to them to do it by themselves. My mom would often say that to do but I wouldn’t bother. Make sure EVERY NIGHT to gather as a family to pray. In a few years it will be normal to them to pray. You will NEVER make it to the Celestial Kingdom if you don’t pray. NEVER. Start to teach them when they are young. It is a very, very hard thing to do.

That bit about “not making it to the Celestial Kingdom” was a result of a conversation I remember vividly with my mom. I hadn’t been praying, and the thought struck me that there might be some eternal consequences for that. I remember asking my mom around that age, “Will I make it to the Celestial Kingdom if I never pray?” That’s a tricky question and I admire my mom for taking it seriously. Her simple answer was, “No,” which was a life changing moment for me. From that moment on, I began saying my personal prayers each night. I’m grateful for my mom’s boldness and sensitivity to my pivotal question.

To answer my strict orders to my future self, I hope I did okay teaching my kids to pray. I remember having family prayers regularly, especially around family meals, and kneeling with each child by their bedside to hear their personal prayers. At some point, when they were not little kids anymore, I gave them the privacy of personal prayers. I can only hope and pray now that they have continued and are teaching their own children how to talk every day with their Heavenly Father.

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Clothes Make the Woman

Clothes are the next topic of importance. Keep yourself slim and wear neat clothes. That’s what I notice in older women: their hair, what shape their body is in, their clothes and shoes. Being beautiful is very important.
Buying really neat clothes for your children is VERY important. Cute little dresses for young girls and little overalls and football shirts for the boys. When I was in 5th and 6th grade, having neat clothes was the most important thing people knew you by. Unmatching tops and pants, hand-me-downs, high-bottom pants (which aren’t in style right now) and old clothes are really sick.
Shoes are just as important as anything. Right now to have Adidas, Pumas, Nike’s, and really good $30 shoes are the “in” thing. I don’t have them because mom and dad say that my feet will grow too fast for good shoes. I don’t really blame them either so good $17 shoes which resemble the good brands and what I want are finally what I’m going to get. I’m really thankful for them.

Back to the future. I’m surprised to read how materialistic I was. I honestly did not remember caring so much about fashion and judging others so strictly. To my 11-year-old self: I will report back that I didn’t do all you wanted. I try to stay fit and wear neat (as in “clean”) clothes but they aren’t the most fashionable most of the time. My kids often wore nice hand-me-downs or thrifted clothes and I’m not apologetic about that either. It’s good to stay humble and not spend a ton of money chasing after fashion. I didn’t want to raise high-maintenance girls or materialistic boys so I intentionally kept their wardrobe moderate and modest. I’m grateful to report all five kids turned out to be awesome adults!

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Cheaters, Liars, and Shoplifters

Tell your kids this and remember it yourself: no matter what you do – if you cheat, lie, or fight, it may not matter here on earth. A little cheating will get you through a test or get you candy from the cupboard if you lie about taking it. It will just be counted against you in heaven. Every day, anything you do, no matter if it is punching your brother or sister because you got mad to relieve your tension or get revenge will be counted against you. ANYTHING you do may not have consequences here. If you are tempted to take a candy bar from the store and do, what will it do? It will quench your taste buds and maybe lead you into more and greater bad things you will do. But just that little thing that doesn’t do much will be counted against you.

Earth is a test and you doing either one thing or another to affect your final grade. Here’s an exaggerated example: a guy who never cheated but was stupid and didn’t get high grades but studies hard and later didn’t get a good job and dies of starvation will be blessed in heaven. Why do people do little wrong things when they know it’s wrong? It might content you here but you will sit back later and mourn over it and practically die of a broken heart and say, “Why didn’t I do right?” Think of this dinky little time we have here on earth and think of all those never-ending days we will have in heaven to regret or be thankful for what we did here. Think of this poem by David O. McKay:

“Day by day, hour by hour, we are building the kind of person we are going to be forever.”

I’m really impressed with my eternal perspective and moral judgement, especially after reading my superficial ideas about clothing. Many of the strong opinions I held in my journal are irrelevant and frankly, impractical, but here is an entry that is worth gold. I’m grateful to that 11-year-old self for having the strength to see right from wrong and fortitude to express truth. I agree with her and have tried to live these principles and teach them to my children. I’m grateful for my parents, church leaders, and anyone else who shaped these eternal truths in my mind and helped me cement them while I was young to build a foundation of values that have guided my life.